burn ma finger. dont hold ya pee.

it has been a very very VERY eventful week.

first i was busy talking to c, then while scooping rice, i didn knw the stove was still hot. and so happen, i placed my bowl on the stove. when i put my fingers to scoop the bugger bowl up, instead, i cooked my fingers for lunch.

burnt human flesh smells pretty good.

 

and i burnt these a day before my piano master class, with this dude who plays freakishly amazing, and its as if the piano is like some tiny object, the size of my baby toe, and that he just taps on it to make diff kinds of sounds from it. and beautiful music.

and i literally destroyed, his RM80,000 piano.

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NO i dont feel any sort of remorse. HOHOHO . i mean, how OFTEN do you get the opportunity to keep banging the piano, and not get fucked for it?

so…

anyway besides the point, my piano exams on the 8th of dec, and ill be away to singapore to attend my cousins wedding from the 24th to the 27th of november. FUCKED UP BOH.

no ah.

i feel very fucked up lorh.

so SHADDAPS.

and i had so much difficulty looking for the outfits to be worn on the particular day itself. knncb.

oh well. must admit. i am SUPER fat ady. zipper also can get stuck wan for the dress. lucky didn need to lubricate me and then use fire to light the dress to free me from it. most likely theyll make me pay for the dress first, then make me watch it be destroyed less than a second after paying.

at the same time, burning my fats also.

oh well. but at least now i can save! my charles & keith shoes are rescuing me!

okay bye.

wan meh.

connection is horrid in my room.
nvm that.
more on this post would be how i tried to check my account balance in maybank. thinking that maybe i shud buy all the story books at one go.

when i accessed maybank2u to log in, this came out.

"we are currently refreshing the entire browser, so no bank transactions can be made at this point of time. please come back later. thank you."

deng. BIG SIGN OR NOT.

i will have a smart kid.

maybe ill sound mean since i dont have a child yet. i wudnt know how it would be so proud-ee-fying that my child knows how to differentiate between a guy and girl toilet.

the other day i was at the toilet, a public toilet of course because people dont come to my house to share toilets.

so as i was peeing, i heard a kid sounding smug, and a mom sounding so proud.

“ehhh! girl!! how you know come in here and not to the other toilet wan??”

“because i saw-i saw the sign here people wearing skirt then i then i come in here . i got skirt. so i come in here! and alot of boyssssss go in the other one.”

“aiyoo! my daughter so clever already! when you know how to differentiate wan?”

“just now i see then i know aledy.”

“sooo clever!!" *speaks to friend in canto* see my daughter so young but so clever d right! aiyah im so lucky.”

a very adorable conversation.

i have a feeling if i ever have a son, my son will definitely follow me to the female toilet, even if he had a choice of going to the male toilet alone.

“boy why you follow me again?”

“i dont know mommy. when some of them wear skirts, they bend down, i got reaction. then can see them pee pee also can watch they call me cute. stay here better. because i pee also happy. boy boy toilet got scary  men. they scold me stupid when i stare at their long long thing. make me feel small small also. stay here better. i also happier.”

“good boy. just stay here till ur straight. remind me to get rid of the soft toys in ur room.”

and this would be a result of my husband being a naturally borned hamsap person with hamsap genes.

somehow i just know that whoever it is, it will be hamsap. why.

kura loves me :D

helo humans!

so this is the post that was spse to be posted up about three days back?but it didnt happen because GENIOUS windows live writer crashed just cz i wanted to insert some lousy emoticon. stupid emoticon. so i learned. everytime i wanna insert an emoticon, i will SAVE MY DRAFT

ANYYWAYY

So on fridayy after my work at 3pm, MoreWomenThanMen [minus ganesh because he’s at bond enjoying all the sun and babes there but you’re with us literally ): n we’ll hv another session when u get back k?!promise!]decided to go for a swim! Lalalalala

We had a good time. Cheems attempted to commit pool murder to me, because he decided to shove me, the fat lump down the slide. He doesn’t understand that fat people like me already have an au natural oil form constantly produced because our body is SO fat that we need to ooze it out somewhere. Its like constant lubricant all over your body. So what happens when you shove a SUPER lubricated human lump down the slide which is FURTHER “lubricated” by water?

Yes, a super fat SPLASH.

Best Part was he was behind of me, and being a head taller against this short person, he kneed my left chubby thigh, and elbowed my shoulder. And water up my nose.

NONID SO PREJUDICED AGAINST FAT PEOPLE WAN!
WE NEED TO BE LOVED TOO!!!! T_____T

maybe if I do a fat jiggle…itll melt people’s hearts and make them love me.

*faster faster roll down chairs!! HAHAHA*
see I got inside joke. You don’t have leh. NGEH.

must sensor. HOHOHO

Of course, it is literally NEVER bickermuch moment unless if theres SOMEONE there to make me bicker about something which I will FRIGGIN do right now.

*inhales*

So you guys must be thinking. Jing, why so rude! People swimming so innocently, then you label people puki. People also got mother born wan!

Now now relax. Of course I have PROPER reasons.

See, I don’t mind people swimming really. In fact, I ADORE swimmers. Theyre like super strong and all right? I mean of course, one fine day, I will grow old and horribly unsightly for swimming garments and young people will then go “UGH look at that wrinkly cellulite-y woman. TAK TAU MALU!!”and then proceed to throw eggs at me.

However, they might think twice when I throw a corourful and flowery float with pokemon drawings into the pool and use it to swim, while waving at them and saying hi.

I mean, fat old round wrinkly has that kind of charm too.

I don’t show off. I CANT SWIM. But if you can good for you. KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.

Now THIS particular fellow. I was sitting at the pool edge, just giving my legs a lil dip, spreading some jing oil into the pool [no not PEE you morons], and I was CONSIDERATE. There was another guy next to this lucky fellow who was doing laps too. So of course I didn’t sit like in the area where I would like stop them from making their turns and destroying their exercise regime. I sat in the middle. Of course the other guy saw me when he got up to take breathers, and so he swam more towards the side because dude really, you need the WHOLE area to just turn around meh?! No right. So he didn’t make me bicker.

But THIS smart fella, he saw me because he took MUCH MORE BREATHERS than the other guy who was better at it, and REFUSED to move. In fact he swam nearer and more senget towards my side. Wtf. I think he lost his sense of stability. Something wrong with the liquid in his ears that causes him to be stable.

Of course that’s not all. Im BICKERING after all.

Then right, this TORPEDO swimmer wannabe, just comes, and CLEARLY sees im HOLDING friggin camera trying to take a picture for panda and cheems, and just does a 360 flip thing, which unlike torpedo and in his elderly nature state body with no abs and all, just lines like me, just FLIPS and BABOOM, a REAL torpedo effect. Underwater EXPLOSION.

I dodged as far as I could, but there were still drops on my poor camera );

Idiot. You think you who. BLIND wan ah. You wear goggles also cannot see?! Don’t tell me you’re so concentrated. You THINK I dno u kept staring at my chest arh! I go down the water then u go down and never come up for so long and u come up also facing me and like nose bleeding like that. Si beh hamsap apek. SLAP your fucking saggy balls lar! So old d go buy magazine la hou sam lei. My one not for you. Im not saying theyre big or nice or round at all in any way, but seriously. DIDN’T ANYONE TEACH YOU ITS NOT NICE TO STARE?!?!?!?

Knncb and watersplash me two three times smre.

*exhales*

So that’s why, he is a puki

   

so after the tiring swim, this blob had an outing with one of me good friends whom i hvnt seen in damnnn long because he lc.   however, because i kept pestering him about how hungry i was and how sombong he was, he was so irritated that he finally decided to bribe me by bringing me out for a nice dinner!

so we went to kura at one world hotel!

boy was kura happy to have me as a customer.

  weeeeeee!

purdy ball? this is my suka rasuah you friend, cheems. throw tantrum and ask him bring u makan !

[only certain people and mwtm applies ] so this is his portion. just this and miso soup.

so here comes mine.

ive been hving this craving la k for jap food. so to order it a la carte is a lil pricey and i din wanna make this poor boy go broke and have his parents hunt me down to return him his money. so RIGHT before i was gng to make him go broke, he found a set that was much more worth it [damn]. however, it didnt include my all time craving, jap garlic rice.

so, he said, order the set, because its only RM75 for like a portion two people can eat, and order the rice on its own la. its only like RM5-10 bucks wert.

FINE.

so i did.

 

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but this is the only picture that i can give you BECAUSE THE FILE WAS CORRUPTED WHEN I TRIED TO TRANSFER!!!!

so that is mine la. quite big bowl of rice.

and now, to present, my meal. which most likely coudlve fed a whole village in africa or some poverty striken village . i feel awful.

  

omfg. i thought i cudnt finish it. im sorry for the ugly salmon picture. ITS ONLY BECAUSE I WAS SO FUCKING HUNGRY AND MY SHORT BODY DIDNT ALLOW ME TO SEE HOW BEAUTIFUL IT WAS THEN BY THE TIME I DIS-ASSEMBLED IT AND STUFFED ONE PART INTO MY MOUTH I CUDNT HELP IT I JUST HAD TO TAKE A PICTURE FIRST SO AT LEAST GOT PICTURE KAYY shaddap.

anyway when the waitress delivered it, i bet she ran back telling everybody about it because CHEEMS here was damn smart. she served it thining we’re sharing but he cleverly pushed all to me and said,”remember dont paiseh just eat everything okay? i belanja wan!! eat more eat more..!”

grrrrr. if only u werent the one paying for the meal.

 

so .

 

take a guess on whether i finished it yea ?

 

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hohohohoho!!!!

     

whos ya daddy now cheems!

wasted. tempura. sauce.

 

when the waiter came in to take order from cheems for their green tea ice cream, he seemd rather shocked that i ate everything.

 

when he came back, he came back with two green tea ice cream. however we only ordered one.

 

“hey we only ordered one green tea ice cream.”

“oh…uhm..this one is urh…complimentary.”

*pushes green tea ice cream towards me while trying not to laugh while at the same time staring at the mess that i made*

they think im a barbarian.

but…

who the hell gives a fuck?!

FREE FRIGGIN ICE CREAM LEH!!!

 

 

thanks cheems (:

supalove

HAH.

bet you all thought i was gng to update about that post i was spse to update with but failed cz of effing windows right. NOP. :D tmrw lar k HAHAHAHAH.

 

supalove.

quote.

"We are not against entertainment, but it's the way she performs -- her gyrating moves on stage and her sexy outfits. It will erode the moral values of our young people," PAS youth chief Nasruddin Hassan Tantawi told AFP.

HAHAHAHAHA. how humourfying to see the words “erode”,”moral values” and “young people” put together in a sentence. and of all people, BEYONCE will be the one eroding it. COCKANDBULL.

what kind of MORAL value do WE really have?

i mean GOOD GOD. are they SO frickin conservative to the extent that they do not know that every young PERSON watches porn at home and dry humps anyone in a club upon alcohol consumption, and videos of factory workers having a quickie in a room while some other dude is wanking and filming at the same friggin time??

i guess if that is considered very moral of us, then i spse i got the definition all wrong.

And FUCK you because the WAY SHE PERFORMS is what makes her AWESOME and the BEST PERFORMER in the world*no pun intended to taylor swift she’s awesome too*. you think if they gave you idiots 10 minutes on stage, you could turn the whole crowd into party mode like how she can and at the same time touch peoples’ lives and hearts with the way she performs and sings? i really DO NOT think so.

the fact that she still wants to come here after cancelling it due to some kind of funky ass protest that you guys wanted to do is just TOO NOBLE of her. seriously. and to get thru all the things like this.

fools. why not we all wrap ourselves up in towels as our undergarments, and then wear our tshirts outside of it. and THEN we dance like whores. STILL TOO CONSERVATIVE?

maybe we shud instead just stand there. THEN itll suit their bloody tastes. how turning on and professionally talented is that.

i hate you windows live writer but love you.

I BLOGGED ABOUT YDAY AND EVERYTHING WAS GONE JUST LIKE THAT SO IM DAMN PISSED OFF NOW AND I WONT BLOG FOR A WHILE KNNCB MY CREATIVE WRITING ALL GO DOWN THE DRAIN WARGH.